I'm BAAAACK!

Let me apologize to my readers of "Uncommon Uses for Common Household Products" for that brief little hiatus I had over the holidays. But I am back and ready to go. In my last post, I said I would start with J, but there are no Js. So onto the Ls.

L
LADDER:
(Everyone knows it is supposed to be bad luck to walk under a ladder. This superstition probably originated when criminals had to walk under a ladder on their way to the hangman's noose, while the hangman himself stepped around the ladder.)
*Create a rustic trellis--a rickety old ladder isn't safe for climbing, but it can make an interesting trellis for climbing roses or other vines.
*Hang pots and pans--suspend a ladder from your kitchen ceiling with rope or wire, and you have an unusual hanger for your pots, pans, and utensils.
(I don't really like any of these, but I needed to put something in for ladder.)
LEMONS:
*Clean out your microwave--if you've got hardened food on the inside of your microwave, don't scratch the finish with hard cleansers. Instead, mix three tablespoons of lemon juice into one and a half cups of water in a microwave-safe bowl. Microwave on high for 10 minutes at the most. Then just wipe off the softened food with a dish rag.
*Freshen your garbage disposal--your garbage disposal can develop some interesting smells. Eliminate those odors by putting some ice cubes and lemon rinds into the disposal and turning it on. It will come out smelling lemon fresh.
*Dry up blemishes--instead of spending money on astringents or acne medications, try dabbing blemishes several times a day with lemon juice. (I've never done this with lemon juice, but I have used toothpaste and Listerine. The Listerine really works.)
*Bleach thyself--if your fingernails or toenails are looking a little yellow, or the skin on your feet is a funny color, go for the produce. Cut up a lemon, and rub the juices into the areas that are discolored.
*Make fluffy rice every time--add a teaspoon of fresh lemon juice to the water first thing, and your rice will never be sticky again.

M
MAGNETS:
*Handy storage for your broom--attach a magnet to your broom with a screw, about halfway down the handle. Then you can store it attached to the side of your refrigerator, between the refrigerator and the wall.
MARSHMALLOWS:
*Frosting that's easy as...cake--out of frosting for your cupcakes? Don't worry. Plop a marshmallow on top of each one a minute or so before they're due to come out of the oven. Instant gooey frosting.
MATCHES:
*Unfreeze a lock--when you're dealing with a frozen lock, why not try a burning key? Heat your trunk or car door key with a match, then quickly put it in the lock and turn.
MAYONNAISE:
*Remove water stains--to get water marks off your wood furniture, rub in mayonnaise. Let it sit all night, then wipe it off.
*Make a hair conditioner--even if you hate mayonnaise on you sandwiches, you might like what it can do for your hair. For deep conditioning, massage mayonnaise in, let it sit for about five minutes, and wash as usual. Or you can blend together one-fourth cup of mayonnaise and half of an avocado. Use the mixture just as your would a commercial conditioner, leaving it on your hair for about five to 10 minutes. Rinse out and enjoy your shiny hair. (They also mention that you can use mayonnaise as a facial mask for dry skin...this grosses me out so much that I couldn't really put it in this post.)
MILK:
*Restore body to permanent press clothes--if permanent press items have gotten limp, add a cup of powdered milk to the final wash and wear rinse cycle.
*Thaw fish with added freshness--if you thaw frozen fish in milk, it will taste fresher. And maybe you can convince your family that you just pulled it out of the lake instead of your freezer.
MOTHBALLS:
(They sound disgusting, but can be helpful)
*Repel pests--scatter mothballs around your garden and flower beds to keep rodents and even cats away.
*No more rusty tools--place a few mothballs in your toolbox to prevent rust.
*Keep more than moths away--tucked away in drawers and closets, mothballs will absorb moisture and keep things dry, preventing mildew as well as moths.

Don't worry, friends, I'll try to keep up with this better now.