I've been having a hard time staying positive lately. Not about life in general, but about my future. I graduate from Utah State in exactly 20 SCHOOL DAYS. And I have absolutely no idea what is going to happen when that day comes. I am scared out of my mind. And when I get scared, I tend to feel down and not very positive about where things are going.
I have mixed feelings about graduating from school. On one hand, I am tired of the homework, group projects, tests, and stressing over grades. But I do love learning. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE being an Aggie. Utah State was the best thing that I ever could have done for myself. Seriously.
Besides making sure I pass my classes, my next stress is over a job. Where do I look? What do I even want to do? As I have come to know myself better and have a better understanding of the things that I am good at, I realized that I don't think I want to be in the marketing profession. And now I keep asking myself "WHY THE H DID I GET MY DEGREE IN MARKETING?!" I would much rather be doing Human Resources. But by the time I figured that out, I had 15 weeks until graduation.
Another dilemma I am facing is where I should live. My apartment is paid until the end of the school year, but the job market in Logan is even worse than it is other places. I could move home. I love living at home, I really do. But my social life down there SUCKS. It is basically nonexistent, with the exception of my few single friends who already have their lives in place. Plus. I'm not having any luck in the "finding a mate" department on a campus full of single guys. The chances of it happening at home seem pretty slim to me.
Limbo. That is where my life is right now--in uncertain limbo. And the stress is really starting to take its toll on me. I think I might be going gray at 23...
4 comments:
I know what you mean about being scared to graduate. I was so excited and so scared. That was 2 years ago now and I still ask myself why I got a degree in Sociology instead of HR. Good luck in making your decisions. I know it is really difficult. Hang in there!
I'm so sorry, Chelsee. That would be very stressful and confusing. But everything will work out, it always does. Just keep pushing and hoep for the best!
I am so jealous that you are graduating!! First of all congratulations on that. Secondly... not sure if this will be helpful or not... BUT I am sure you are praying about this and I once heard that sometimes you don't feel a definite YES when you ask for guidance and direction, but you will definitely feel a NO. So, basically, as long as you don't feel a striking NO in your heart, I am sure you will make the right decisions. Good luck with it all! The words of Natasha Bedingfield's UNWRITTEN is screaming in my head for you right now. Oh man, your life is yet to be written, what an exciting time for you!
the hardest thing about being a grown up, is deciding stuff. sometimes it's so hard to know. :( i'm sorry. good luck.
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