"Do you ever feel you've become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora's box of all your secret, hateful parts - your arrogance, your spite, your condescension - has sprung open? Someone upsets you and instead of just smiling and walking away, you zing them? "Hello. It's Mr. Nasty." I'm sure you have no idea what I'm talking about."
Why is it so easy to become your worst to the people you love the most and who know you the best? I admit, I am guilty of it. And I think the rest of my family is too. In fact, I know they are. After almost 24 years on this earth, I have come to know that when my family spends too much time together, we get mean.
I can tell that is the case with my little sister and I. I looooooooooove my sister, Caitlin. I consider her one of my best friends, and we usually get along really well. But sometimes, we hit that little bump. And we know exactly what to say to make it hurt the worst. It seems to be happening a lot lately.
I have a crappy talent of being able to say things that really hurt (sometimes I wonder if it is a family trait). And after the fact, I feel really horrible. It isn't something that I'm proud of. But it has become a habit.
Who really likes to admit their flaws? I don't. Sometimes I like to pretend I'm perfect. :) Buttttttt....I'm not. Someone pleasssssssssssse tell me that my family is not the only one that this happens to.
4 comments:
NNNNNNOPE! You are not even close to the only family/person that does that!
Oh goodness, LOVE that reference!!!
No, I'm sure it happens more than you think. But it's the getting back together part that brings you closer and keeps you strong. :)
Ah, I have learned this lesson over and over (and over and over). Just recently I am guilty of this (pretty much I am guilty of this on a daily basis but a month ago the $h!* really hit the fan). I have learned that I am drama. I don't think I am as dramatic as others, but I know that the little things I do cause drama in my life, like telling stories/secrets that I should keep private, talking crap on people behind their backs, whining over things that I shouldn't. So for the last little bit I've been trying VERY, VERY, hard to be careful of who I can trust and share information with. Like there are probably only 2-3 people that I know that right now I am willing to share everything, but for the most part, I am trying to be very neutral to everyone else... less drama that way. Wow, novel much? Anyway, I am sure what I just wrote about had nothing to do with what you were talking about.
I've unfortunately had that talent as well since I was little! I am now silent when I'm really mad because I know that if I were to say something it would be the that one thing that would hurt the other person the most.
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