20 Days

I've been having a hard time staying positive lately. Not about life in general, but about my future. I graduate from Utah State in exactly 20 SCHOOL DAYS. And I have absolutely no idea what is going to happen when that day comes. I am scared out of my mind. And when I get scared, I tend to feel down and not very positive about where things are going.
I have mixed feelings about graduating from school. On one hand, I am tired of the homework, group projects, tests, and stressing over grades. But I do love learning. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE being an Aggie. Utah State was the best thing that I ever could have done for myself. Seriously.
Besides making sure I pass my classes, my next stress is over a job. Where do I look? What do I even want to do? As I have come to know myself better and have a better understanding of the things that I am good at, I realized that I don't think I want to be in the marketing profession. And now I keep asking myself "WHY THE H DID I GET MY DEGREE IN MARKETING?!" I would much rather be doing Human Resources. But by the time I figured that out, I had 15 weeks until graduation.
Another dilemma I am facing is where I should live. My apartment is paid until the end of the school year, but the job market in Logan is even worse than it is other places. I could move home. I love living at home, I really do. But my social life down there SUCKS. It is basically nonexistent, with the exception of my few single friends who already have their lives in place. Plus. I'm not having any luck in the "finding a mate" department on a campus full of single guys. The chances of it happening at home seem pretty slim to me.
Limbo. That is where my life is right now--in uncertain limbo. And the stress is really starting to take its toll on me. I think I might be going gray at 23...

The Important things in life...

Lately, I have come to realize the things that are most important in my life. There are the three staples-the Gospel, family, friends, blah blah blah. I'm talking about the REAL important things in life.

Here are my top 25:
-Aggie Basketball (And Seawolf Basketball now)
-Potatoes
-All things Disney
-Disinfectant
-Ice cream
-Costco
-Nail polish remover
-Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan movies
-Dish Soap
-Camelbak water bottles
-Garth Brooks
-A good set of ear phones
-Chinese food
-Monty Python and the Holy Grail
-Detoxifying face masks
-Books
-Skype
-The PedEgg
-$5 movie bin at Walmart
-Peppermint Chapstick
-Texting
-Dollar Stores
-A good mascara
-Tylenol PM
-Old Navy Clearance

The End.

Can't Get Enough...

...of these 2 faces.

Cutest. Little Ones. EVER.

Old?

Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 23. I know that is not old at all, but it feels SO old to me. I don't see myself as 23. In fact, I still really only feel 20 or 21. I have to remind myself that I am 23 years old. In 7 years, I will be 30. 7 years ago, I was turning 16. That was not that long ago. I don't even want to think about how fast the next 7 years is going to go.
As I look back on the last year, I can't believe all that has happened. This time last year I was seriously depressed because I wasn't able to go back to school that semester. I was pissed off at the world. Everything seemed to be going wrong. It had been a rough year for my family and I wasn't making things better. I know that I was hard to live with. I had no social life so I was home all the time. The only bright side was that I had a job and I could go to all of Caitlin's games.
Since January though, things have gotten SO much better. Here are some highlights:
-I am back in school and LOVING it! I never thought I would love Logan as much as I do. I never want to leave. I'm finishing up my last semester of school. I'm actually in denial about it. I'm not ready to graduate. I don't want to graduate. I don't want to leave Logan. I don't want to be a grown up yet.
-I had the BEST summer job. Seriously. TOP NOTCH. I was a counselor at a kid's sports camp. I LOVED IT. There was not a day this summer that I didn't want to go to work. I could not have asked for a better job or better coworkers. I was so sad when August came around and camp had to end.

Some of the cool people I worked with. We're at a pool party. We played organized games. That's what happens when you run a kids camp.

-The Tim McGraw concert. We got my momma tickets for Mother's Day. It was so much fun. And he is BEAUTIFUL in person.

-One of my very best friends from high school got married. Miss Rosemary. I am so happy for her and love her so so much!

Most of "the girls" at Rose's wedding luncheon.

-Trips to Reno, Bear Lake, St. George, and Idaho. I love travelling...and as far as weekend trips go, these were AWESOME. RENO!!!!!!!

St. George
Bear Lake #1

Bear Lake #2--COLD!!!!!

-Caitlin moved to Alaska. Not really a highlight but a large event of the summer. I miss her. SO much. I text her everyday. She is probably really sick of me.

-Best tan I've had in years.

-Lost some weight.

-Best school news: I literally live 2 minutes from campus. On GHETTO DARWIN. Underneath a dentist's office. And I love my roommates.

-And I am LOVING LIFE. I just feel really happy all the time. I love that feeling.

Who knew that one day I would be grateful for all the crap I had to go through last year?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!

Bird Murderer

Today was quite the traumatizing day for me...
We have a some big trees in my front yard. Today the wind was blowing really hard, and blew a bird's nest onto my driveway. I went out to my car (I was going to get some Cafe Rio...YUM), and saw the nest. I looked for any eggs but couldn't see any. After I pull back into my driveway and get out of my car, I see it. BLOOD. I get this sick feeling in my stomach. I ran over a baby bird. Barely hatched out of the egg, hardly any feathers, can't fly yet, baby bird. And there are three others lying next to it (not ran over).
So. I am a baby bird murderer. Freak. I would post a picture, but I would rather not relive this horrid moment in my life.

And...

(This is for you, Syd...)

Reasons I love Summer:

1. SUNSHINE. I love the sun. I am fully aware that I might get skin cancer, but I plan on spending as much time in the sun as I possibly can.

2. Swimming. I love to swim. And swimming with my nephew is the best.

3. My family reunion. Father's Day weekend is my favorite time of the year. If you had as awesome of family as I do, you would love your family reunion too.

4. Fireworks. And the 4th of July. Fireworks make me happy.

5. Summer food. All food is good, but summer food is delicious.
6. Campfires. I love ending the night smelling like campfire smoke.
7. Shorts and tank tops.
8. Flip flops.
9. Being LAZY! I love sleeping in. I love lounging and doing nothing.
10. Big Brother. It is my favorite show.

Summer starts in 3 days, and counting.

Bye Bye Brudda :(

Yesterday was a rough day. My brother, JD, and the rest of the 144th Area Support Medical Company, left for their year deployment to Afghanistan. I am scared out of my mind, but I could not be more proud of him and the work he is doing. I feel so honored to be the sister of a U.S. soldier who is fighting for our country and defending our freedom.
Here are a few pictures from the day...

JD and his unit in formation.

The 4 of us.

Me and Brudda

The family. And Aubree.

KSL was there doing a story of the soldiers leaving. Here is the link. If you watch closely, I am on the screen towards the end for about 2 seconds. My claim to fame. :)

ksl.com - 80 Utah soldiers deploy to Afghanistan; family and friends see them off

Yesterday was also the ALL-STAR GIRLS BASKETBALL GAME. Cait rocked it. She had 2 3-point shots, along with the rest of her baskets, countless rebounds, and about 18 blocks. She is such a super star. Apart from the All-Star game, which put the North schools vs. South schools, she also made the Second All-State team, along with another girl from her team. I'm sad her high school basketball is over, but I have track for the rest of this year. And college basketball to look forward to next year! Way to go Cait!