Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Brazil. Or Brasil. Whichever you prefer.

Recently I went to Brazil for work.  I was there 8 days.  It was quite the...experience.  Some good, some bad.  It was neat to see the different cultures and meet the different people, but let's just say that I'm glad I didn't take this trip on my own dime.  Here are my thoughts...

*Iguassu Falls was, honestly, one of the most beautiful places that I have ever seen in my life.  I can see why it is one of the 7 Natural Wonders of the World (or 7 Wonders of Nature, depending on the list you look at).
*I felt totally safe in Iguassu.  Could have been because we were staying at a 5-Star resort, completely secluded in the national park where you have to have photo identification to enter.
*People in Brazil loooooooove their buffets.  Every single restaurant we went to, and every single meal we had in the hotels had a buffet.  It's almost like Brazil is a country of old people.
*There are so many homeless people.  But they are not out there panhandling or begging for money.  They just want to stay passed out on the sidewalk in peace.
*People love their bodies.  You can see boobs anywhere you go.
*The creepy men on the street aren't pervy.  I was expecting to hear cat calls and see the creepy looks like I did in France, but no.  Probably because they can see boobs everywhere they go.
*I had absolutely no sense of direction in the city of Rio.  We were going South when I though we were going North.  The city is a circle, so basically you never know which direction you're going.
*In big cities like Rio, neighborhood classes are very apparent - the rich are rich and the poor are poor, and there is a big differentiation between the two.
*Consequently, there are a lot of poor people in the rich neighborhoods - they're all the people begging for money or stealing stuff out of your hands.
*Grocery stores and drug stores are separate.  You can't by medication at the grocery stores, and with the exception of like candy and mints, you can't buy food at the drug stores.
*You can, however, buy alcohol ANYWHERE.  Even McDonald's.  Or a pharmacy.  Or a chocolate store.  Or a clothing store.  Or the kiosk on the street.  And not just beer - hard liquor.  For pretty cheap.
*They are obsessed with Mentos, Trident gum, and Halls cough drops.
*Also - I think they think that Halls cough drops are mints or something.
*You can walk down the sidewalk at any given time and probably find 4-7 used condoms.
*Brazilians love to have colored lights on buildings, including official government buildings and churches.  Specifically, green and purple lights.
*The phone booths look like a cross between an artillery helmet and a turtle shell.  In some of the non-touristy neighborhoods, the phone booths are covered in pornographic hooker advertisements.  Similar to those handed out on the strip in Vegas.
*Couples always sit side by side at restaurants and tables, never across from each other.
*The muggers are punk teenagers who are looking for an easy out.
*The people in the service industry do NOT care about the people they are serving.  Waiters, cashiers, etc. will just walk away from you when you're talking to them.  Or not bring you the things you asked for.  It is not customary to tip down there, so they don't care.
*Nike prices are about double than what the same item here would cost.  Very disappointing to me.
*Brazilians are a very diverse group of people in terms of skin color, eye color, heritage, etc.
*Water is not free at restaurants.  In fact, if you don't want to pay for a drink, you go without a drink.
*Some places do not have toilet paper rolls.  They have toilet paper squares.  And you pull the TP out of a box like you would tissues.
*Most of the streets in Rio are surface streets; they seem to have very few freeways.
*I once had a bird attack my foot in a bird sanctuary.  They should have had a sanctuary for me.
*When you get a "deep tissue massage", they really mean deeeeeeeeeep tissue.  I had bruises on my shoulder blades the next day.
*I really missed watching American TV.  Even the American shows were translated to Portuguese.  And I understand why.  But it frustrated me.  Good thing I had movies to watch on my iPad.
*They serve soooooo much meat.  At every meal.  Remember the buffets I mentioned above?  The meat options at those buffets are unreal.
*Speaking of meat - Brazilian steakhouses in the US don't compare.
*Wild monkeys can be compared to the animals at Yellowstone - they have become so accustomed to people feeding them that they are no longer afraid of humans.  When we were at the Sugar Loaf tour, there were so many monkeys begging for food that I probably could have picked one up and brought it home with me.
*The ocean felt warm and lovely to me.  But I hear that most everyone else in our group thought it was freezing...it is apparently colder than the water in the Gulf of Mexico.  Not surprising.
*It was surprisingly not as humid as I thought it would be.  I was not sweating to death under all of my layers.
*The Christ the Redeemer statue was pretty neat.  It didn't hold any religious feelings for me, but I can see why some people feel a deep, spiritual connection there.  But the 125-foot tall Jesus was pretty cool to see.
*Overall, I do NOT think that Rio is ready for the Olympics in 2016.  It is not really visitor friendly.  People get mugged at knifepoint (my boss) or have their phones stolen right out of their hands (my coworker).  Not many people speak English, and even fewer speak any other language.  They have a lot of work to do to get ready.

Ok.  Here's some pictures.  :)

I got attacked by a scary bird right after this picture was taken.  
Heyyyyy Giant Jesus.
Hanging out at the beach.  Awesome.
Iguassu Falls.  It's like a painting!
Cashew juice.  Yes.  Cashew.  Like the nut.  I learned a lot about cashews on this trip.
Just a huge political protest.  NBD.
Looking out over Rio at Sugar Loaf.
On TAM Airlines, they give you a whole package of snacks.  Not just one, Delta.  Not just one.
My favorite place in Rio - Lapa.  The streets were lined with restaurants playing live music.  It was awesome.  Gross food, though.
The Marina from on top of Sugar Loaf.
Hey little monkey!
Hahaha I thought this picture was hilarious.  This is a bunch of people from our group taking pictures of the monkey from above.
Found this gem at the best restaurant we went to.  Yes, that is an elevator door with cherubs painted on it.