THE POOPIE LIST
- The Ghost Poopie: The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.
- The Clean Poopie: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
- The Wet Poopie: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and underwear so you won't ruin them with a stain.
- The Second Wave Poopie: This happens when you're done and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and then you realize that you have to poopie some more.
- The Pop-a-Vein-in-Your-Forehead Poopie: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
- The Gassy Poopie: It's so noisy, everyone within ear shot is laughing.
- The Drinker Poopie: The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid mark on the bottom of the toilet.
- The Lincoln Log Poopie: The kind of poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
- The Corn Poopie: Self explanatory.
- The Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poopie Poopie: The kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.
- The Spinal Tap Poopie: That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you would swear it was leaving you sideways.
- The Wet Cheeks Poopie (The Power Dump): The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, you get splashed with water.
- The Liquid Poopie: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.
- The Mexican Poopie: It smells so bad, your nose burns.
- The Surprise Poopie: You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you're about to fart, but oops...a poopie!
- The Dangling Poopie: This poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done poopie-ing. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.
This list was hanging in my bathroom during my last semester of college. Yes, I did live with 5 other girls. And yes, it makes me giggle every time I read it. So sue me. :)
Also.......
LOOK AT ME GO!!!!!!
5 comments:
Congrats! I love this list! It was hanging in each of the stalls in the bathroom on my floor when I lived in Valley View. It made me laugh every time too!
I don't know many people who would put their graduation pic after a poop list. Either way, way to go!! Actually, I am very familiar with this, we called it the poop chart in class. Lucky us dietitians get to talk to people about their poop.
Congratulations on your new job, I am so glad that you like it.
bahahahaha! love it.
you graduated! look at you go! :) yay! you're like an official adult! and i'm scared. :) not really. love you.
HA! Thanks heavens for this post to make me laugh after the sad post above. Sometimes you need a little comedic relief, you know? CONGRATULATIONS YOU LITTLE POOP!
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