Annoyance

I try really hard to be a good friend. I listen when they need someone to talk to. I drop everything if they need something. I let them vent when someone is bugging them. I don't judge them for things that they have done. I ALWAYS TEXT BACK WHEN THEY TEXT ME, especially when it is important.

I try. I always try to be the very best friend that I can. And there are a lot of times when I don't feel like other people care as much. It reallllllllly bothers me when it is someone who I am supposedly really close to. I understand that people are busy...I am busy too. But how hard it is it to make a little bit of an effort? Text someone back on your lunch break at work or in between classes. There are hundreds of times throughout the day that you could text someone back. It takes like 17 seconds to send a text.

 I know that I am someone who hides my negative/sad emotions. I don't like people to know when I am blue or feeling down and the reasons why. But am I crazy in thinking that the people who I spend the most time with should know that sometimes I really need someone to make that extra effort every once in awhile? Is it really that hard to make an effort to show that you really are there for me? If I text you something, even if it is something trivial, is it hard to text back like 4 words? And I know that part of my problem is that I don't usually just come right out and tell people what is bothering me. I tried to avoid conflict, so I become super passive-aggressive. I just sit there and stew about things and then I get even more upset. Then I get angry and the people I am upset with don't know why. I am trying to work on that, believe me.

 If you can't tell, I am feeling a little bit...neglected? I guess that is the word. I just feel like I put so much effort into making sure that the people in my life know that I care about them and would do anything for them, and I don't get anything like that in return. Last week was especially bad. Some of the people I would talk to or see Every. Single. Day. were basically non-existent in my life last week. And it was hard. And by the time Friday hit, I was seriously down in the dumps. I love my friends and I understand that I am not the number one priority in their lives. I understand that there is a lot going on in everyone's lives, mine included. I understand all of this. I just wish that...I don't know what I wish. Maybe that people could just read my mind? That might be helpful...as long as they can't hear everything I am thinking. Hahahaha.

 To all of my lovely friends out there reading this...I promise that this is not directed at anyone in specific. It is just kind of a blanket annoyance this past week. I love all of my friends and am grateful for all at they do for me. I guess it was just a bad week? I don't know. Don't be offended. Anyway. I guess that is it. Peace and love.