Farewell

Recently, I said goodbye to a dear friend of mine...Walter.  Walter has been faithful to me over the last (almost) 5 years.  When I first met Walter, I wasn't really sure I wanted him in my life.  But he proved loyal to me, and I really grew to love him.  But a few months ago, I felt like it was time to move our separate ways.  Walter was just a little boring and I needed a little spice in my life.  I tried for awhile to find Walter a new, loving home but to no avail.  Finally, I knew it was that time to just cut our ties.  So I said goodbye and hope for the best for him.

Bye Walter!

After Walter's departure, I made a new friend - Lucy.  Lucy is reallllllly pretty.  And she goes really fast.  Do I sound like I have small crush on Lucy?  Well I do a little bit.  And I'm not ashamed about it.  I'm making a few small changes to her, but she is mostly pretty perfect.  And I loooooooooove her.  I love Lucy..cliche much?  Oh well.

Pretty Lucy!

On a more serious note, recently I really did lose a good friend of mine.  I'm not really sure what happened either...she just kinda stopped talking to me.  It was very hurtful to me.  I went from talking to this person every single day, laughing, hanging out and having fun to nothing.  And it was almost instant that it happened, like someone just flipped a switch on our friendship.  I have felt so confused over the last two months.  I have tried to mediate the situation, but it just didn't work the way I wanted it to.  And now she is moving out of Utah and I don't think we'll ever be friends again. It makes me sad, but I know that there is nothing else that I can really do at this point.

One of the hardest things about it is that I feel like I have failed.  I have always prided myself on being a good friend - knowing what that person needs and how to make them feel better, being there for them through whatever.  And I know that I have failed her.  I wasn't the friend that she needed me to be...I let her down.  I'm not really sure how that happened either, but that is something I am going to have to work on.

I am now on the hunt for some new friends.  Not that I am getting rid of my current friends, I just need to expand my circle.  I have been feeling like this for awhile.  I just want to meet new people that can introduce me to more people and so on.  I am really looking for a new bestie.  I have a lot of people I consider best friends, but I need that one person who is just my...bestie.  That's is the right word for it.  The person who I can laugh and have fun with, where our conversations go "What are we doing tonight" and not "Do you want to do something tonight".  I'm not even just looking for one person.  That group of friends where you just know you are going to hang out and have fun and be able to talk and laugh and do stupid things without being judged.  Am I too old for that?  Sometimes I wonder.

Enough with my sob story.  I'm just going to go look at how pretty Lucy is some more...

Lessons Learned: A few teachings from my virtually non-existent dating life.

It's no secret that I'm not a huge dater.  I've talked about it a little bit before, but let me tell you a secret that you probably didn't know - I have only been on one date in about the last 2 years.  Embarrassing, right?  

I have signed up, yet again, with an online dating service, hoping for better results (don't worry...it is not the same site as mentioned in the previous post).  I have hope that maybe one day I will have some better results.  I know people who have met their spouses from online dating.  In fact, my visiting teacher is engaged to someone she met online.  So I know it works.  And I'm hoping that one day it works for me.

The problem is...guys just don't want to date me.  I seem to have that same problem everywhere I go...whether it is through the internet or in person.  I have tried to figure out the reasoning behind it - I put off a man-hating vibe, I'm too tall, I'm too heavy, guys don't like the insane amount of sarcasm that just seems to flow out of my mouth, men are distracted by my intensely overpowering beauty.  I don't know.  I try not to think about it too much, because the truth of the matter is - I like myself.  I really do.  It took me a loooooooong time to get to this place, but I am happy with who I am and what I have accomplished in my life.

I'm really at a point in my life where I just want to date.  Do I want to get married?  Absolutely.  But am I ready for it or am I looking for it?  I don't really think so right now.  I'm just looking to find out the things I want in a future man, and possibly make some friends along the way.  Is that really too much to ask?  I recently read a hilarious book (a silly romance novel, don't judge) that documented one girl's experiences with online dating.  And I loved it.  So I am going to try not to be so picky, while still being a little bit selective, and go out with more guys.  Usually, I just get nervous and freak out over small things but I'm going to work past that and just focus on having fun.

Now here is where you, my dear, lovely, beautiful, funny, amazing (am I laying it on too thick?), blog readers come in.  If you know any single men who want to hang out with an outgoing and funny (yeah, I'll say it.  I'm funny) girl, send them my direction.  I promise I will try not to scare them away too quickly.

And now for the moment you have all been waiting for...a few things I have learned from my experiences with dating.  I don't know how many of my blog readers are male (hey Bryce!), but you ladies are free to pass these words of "wisdom" on.

*Don't give a girl the "chicken wing", especially if you are going to do it every two minutes.

          The "chicken wing", as I have so affectionately named it, is when someone sticks their elbow out to nudge you, usually accompanied with a nod and an "ehhh", while trying to impress you or get your affirmation for something.  It has been dubbed the chicken wing, because it frequently makes the person look like a downed chicken, flailing its wings about while trying to take flight.  I once had a guy do this to me about every 30 seconds during a movie.  I left that date with a bruise the size of Texas.

*Don't stick your fingers in your mouth after eating, in an attempt to get food off of them.

          Seriously.  That's what napkins are for.  And soap and water.

*Please say more than 4 words while on a date.

          Especially if it is the type of date where interaction is required, as to not make things awkward.  Example: when taking a date to the midnight drags at RMR, it would be a helpful tool to talk to the girl, especially since the activity is probably not something she is interested in.

*Never ever ever ever ever run your tongue all over your date's face while kissing.

          This one doesn't need much explanation.  All I can say is GROSS.

*Don't ever send a girl naked pictures of you.

          Again, no explanation needed.

*Don't act too shy to speak during dinner, and then try to make the moves during a movie.

          Is this one of those "put the girl down first, then she will love you when you bring her back up" kind of things?  Doesn't work so well.

In case any of you are wondering...yes, all of these experiences are my own.  I attract the best, don't I?

Now validate me with your comments!  Please and thank you.  :)