Farewell

Recently, I said goodbye to a dear friend of mine...Walter.  Walter has been faithful to me over the last (almost) 5 years.  When I first met Walter, I wasn't really sure I wanted him in my life.  But he proved loyal to me, and I really grew to love him.  But a few months ago, I felt like it was time to move our separate ways.  Walter was just a little boring and I needed a little spice in my life.  I tried for awhile to find Walter a new, loving home but to no avail.  Finally, I knew it was that time to just cut our ties.  So I said goodbye and hope for the best for him.

Bye Walter!

After Walter's departure, I made a new friend - Lucy.  Lucy is reallllllly pretty.  And she goes really fast.  Do I sound like I have small crush on Lucy?  Well I do a little bit.  And I'm not ashamed about it.  I'm making a few small changes to her, but she is mostly pretty perfect.  And I loooooooooove her.  I love Lucy..cliche much?  Oh well.

Pretty Lucy!

On a more serious note, recently I really did lose a good friend of mine.  I'm not really sure what happened either...she just kinda stopped talking to me.  It was very hurtful to me.  I went from talking to this person every single day, laughing, hanging out and having fun to nothing.  And it was almost instant that it happened, like someone just flipped a switch on our friendship.  I have felt so confused over the last two months.  I have tried to mediate the situation, but it just didn't work the way I wanted it to.  And now she is moving out of Utah and I don't think we'll ever be friends again. It makes me sad, but I know that there is nothing else that I can really do at this point.

One of the hardest things about it is that I feel like I have failed.  I have always prided myself on being a good friend - knowing what that person needs and how to make them feel better, being there for them through whatever.  And I know that I have failed her.  I wasn't the friend that she needed me to be...I let her down.  I'm not really sure how that happened either, but that is something I am going to have to work on.

I am now on the hunt for some new friends.  Not that I am getting rid of my current friends, I just need to expand my circle.  I have been feeling like this for awhile.  I just want to meet new people that can introduce me to more people and so on.  I am really looking for a new bestie.  I have a lot of people I consider best friends, but I need that one person who is just my...bestie.  That's is the right word for it.  The person who I can laugh and have fun with, where our conversations go "What are we doing tonight" and not "Do you want to do something tonight".  I'm not even just looking for one person.  That group of friends where you just know you are going to hang out and have fun and be able to talk and laugh and do stupid things without being judged.  Am I too old for that?  Sometimes I wonder.

Enough with my sob story.  I'm just going to go look at how pretty Lucy is some more...