F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Does anybody else want to break out into song when they read the title of this post?  No?  Just me?  Well anyway.  I'm pretty lucky and have made some awesome friends over my life.  For real.  If you are friends with any of my friends, then you are lucky too!  So I'm just going to do a little shout-out to those people who have been there for me and who make my life better.

*My Sisters:
I didn't always get along with them, now I loooooove spending time with them.  We all have the same warped sense of humor, so we laugh at the same stupid jokes.

*Manda Jo:
Amanda and I are cousins.  And we didn't really become REAL friends until I was like 16 or 17.  Now there is no one who knows me better than she does.  She is the person I call when I am having a bad day and the person who knows what to say to make me feel better.  She is the one who I stay up until 3 in the morning with doing stupid things like making music videos to *NSYNC and Eminem...don't judge us.

*My High School Girlies - Britt, Rosey, Nat, Kylee, Shanna, Rachel, Jamie:
The only people in the history of the world who can get me to start running...a feat not to be attempted by any other person.  These girls are in some of my happiest memories.  And even though every single one of them are married and 3 of them have babies, when the girls get together, it is just like it always has been.

(Only missing Nat and Rach...where were youuuuu???)

*Melissa and Kendall:
2 of my best friends from college.  Kendall and I were roommates, and Melissa lived upstairs.  I think I am still trying to catch up on sleep from Freshman year.  Our personalities just go super well together, we just kinda mesh.  We've been through college, single life, marriage, divorce, moving, deployments, and babies and still get along swimmingly.  I still see them at least once a month (until now since Kendall has moved to Reno).

*The crazy soccer playing girls:
I loooooooved living with my soccer-playing roommates.  They were so much fun...fun enough that I decided to subject myself to living with them a second year.  I have more inside jokes with these girls than with almost any of my other friends.

*Jared:
I met Jared about a week before my very first year of college.  We were in the same "Connections" class...the best college class I ever had.  There was a group of us that were the cool kids in school.  Jared and I instantly became friends.  Since there were 3 girls of the same name in that class, I was dubbed "Loud Chelsee", since I was the most outgoing.  After Connections ended, we went on all sorts of crazy adventures.  Freshman year rocked.  When he left on his mission, I wrote him every week and was the best friend a missionary could have.  Now he is all married and stuff, but every once in awhile, we still get to have our little heart to hearts.  I love Jared dearly and I am so glad that he found someone who appreciates how awesome he is.

*The Lovely Sarah:
Who knew you could become such good friends with a person who randomly sat by you in class one day?  Our friendship developed over us both liking the same guy (at different times, and for about a day each).  Then we spent one glorious summer together filled with burning things given to us by stupid boys, the Bachelor, camp fires, Chili's chips and queso, and the zoo before she went and got herself hitched.  I don't get to see her that much, but I still think of her as one of my best friends.

*Koby Leian:
My newest bestie.  This girl rocks.  There are times my stomach hurts from laughing so much.  She helps me break out of my shell and do things that I normally wouldn't do.  She is such a sweet person and would do anything for anyone (unless you talk about her family), and she helps me want to be a better person too.  Plus she has the coolest southern accent that makes it so much to listen to her.

*My favorite Facebook friend: Kasie
Not many people understand my love for FRIENDS like Kasie does.  We can quote the show like it's nobody's business.  My favorite is when I got onto the FB and have a notification from her because I know it is going to be a line from one of my favorite episodes.  She rocks.

*My blogging buddies - Kateka, Katie, Emily, Carly, Annika, Chelsea, Heather, Sarah, Caroline (wassup DC!), Erin, Lindsey, Amy, Mega, Natalie and all of you others who read my pitiful blog (some of you already got a shout out...you don't get another):
I probably wouldn't write this thing if it wasn't for the validation all of you give me.  Haha I love all of your crazy comments and appreciate your bloghood.  And I loooooooove reading your blogs.  Blog stalking was the whole reason I got a blog in the first place!

If you are not mentioned, don't get mad...just hang out with me more!  :)

Peace and love.  The end.

trying a little harder to be a little better...

I love to make new friends.  Seriously, it is one of my favorite things.  And I am pretty good at it, too (sometimes too good at it).  I think it is because I try not to be judgmental of the way people live their lives.

Recently, I have been feeling...off, maybe?  Just kinda feeling like I am not being the best person I can be.  And as I got looking into my life, I could see the things that were bringing me down.  A lot of things hindering me are things that I need to fix for myself.  But some of it comes from some people I have in my life.  And that makes me really sad because it is people that I spend a lot of time with, people who I am really good friends with.  And it's not like the negative things they do are HUGE things, it's all the small stuff...the swearing, the inappropriateness, the leniency with some of the standards that the Church encourages.  But all of the little things add up, and it is causing me some stress and bringing me down.

It makes me sad, but I think that I need to start purging/phasing out some of these people from my life. I am trying to make myself be the best Chelsee there is, and to do that I can't have things bringing me down.  I'm not saying I will cut them out of my life completely, because they are people that I love dearly.  But I think it is time to move on.  In the movie "This Means War" (hilarious.  I highly recommend it), Chelsea Handler encourages Reese Witherspoon to not choose the better guy, but to choose that guy that makes her a better person.  And I think it is the same with friends, too.  They should uplift and inspire, not bring us down and make us feel negative.

One reason I want to make myself better is because I 100% have no idea how to be the kind of person that guys want to date.  Like I said up there, I am REALLY good at making friends, but it never translates to something more.  Ever.  For real.  But I figure I better just make myself all the way awesome so if/when/if it does happen, I am ready for it.  This whole not dating thing has taken a huge toll on me and has hit my self-esteem hard.  So I am trying to not focus on it, and just focus on me.  I kinda suck at it, but I'm trying.

So, all of you who have already caught yourself a man, give me some man-catching advice.  K thanks. :)

The end.

As of late...

I really like my job.  It kinda rocks.  I got a raise the other day.  It was the fastest any person in the company has been given a raise.  I like feeling needed.  I like feeling useful.  I like getting up and getting ready every day.  I like the people I work with.  They are all pretty great.  I like the company.  It is honest and legitimate.  They treat people well.

I like my friends.  I have been bowling a lot.  I still kinda suck at it.  But I'm getting better.  I like having people to do things with on the weekends.  I like staying out way later than I should.  I like my ward.  I like my new bishopric a lot.  I like the people I know in the ward.  I like my calling of sports co-chair.  I like playing volleyball with my ward every Tuesday and playing basketball on Saturdays.  

I hate running.  I don't know why I decided to run in this dang relay race.  But I am trying.  I guess that is all that matters.  I am excited to run with Brit, Nat, and Rosey.  I do miss them.  That is the whole reason why I am running.  Freaking race.

RANT TIME.

I am going to just let off some steam about Josh Powell.  I know everyone has an opinion on the subject, and since this is my blog, I am going to voice my opinion here.  My apologies if I swear and it offends.  Although he deserves worse than any word I could say.  For my very few readers outside of Utah, if you don't know why Josh Powell is, here is a link with some information that will lead to all the gory details. http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/02/07/10339866-report-powell-left-apologetic-voicemail-minutes-before-death

When I first heard that Josh Powell blew up his house with his boys inside on Sunday, I almost threw up.  I was so angry.  I didn't know I could be so angry at a person I had never met.  But all I felt was rage.  And then on Monday when I found out that he used a hatchet to chop up the little boys before he set the house on fire, no lie, I felt like murdering someone.  I am so 100% disgusted, as I am sure that most everyone is.

Now here is where my opinion comes in.  I fully believe that the State of Washington is partly responsible for this.  I know that it was that sick bastard's actions that caused it, but I don't think that he should have even been able to see his kids at all.  West Valley Police Chief said "As the only person of interest in the Susan Cox Powell case, I don't think he should have been able to see his kids at all."  And I completely agree with this statement.  When Washington State found evidence of child pornography, I think that right there should have suspended all rights to his children.  Why is that safe for the boys?  

I think that Josh Powell did this selfish, evil act thinking he would go down in infamy, that his name would be remembered.  All people will remember him as now is a sick, murdering son of a bitch that is going to rot in hell.

I am a little bit disgusted, can you tell?  :)  But that's enough of my rant.  I am going to go back to work now.  

Annoyance

I try really hard to be a good friend. I listen when they need someone to talk to. I drop everything if they need something. I let them vent when someone is bugging them. I don't judge them for things that they have done. I ALWAYS TEXT BACK WHEN THEY TEXT ME, especially when it is important.

I try. I always try to be the very best friend that I can. And there are a lot of times when I don't feel like other people care as much. It reallllllllly bothers me when it is someone who I am supposedly really close to. I understand that people are busy...I am busy too. But how hard it is it to make a little bit of an effort? Text someone back on your lunch break at work or in between classes. There are hundreds of times throughout the day that you could text someone back. It takes like 17 seconds to send a text.

 I know that I am someone who hides my negative/sad emotions. I don't like people to know when I am blue or feeling down and the reasons why. But am I crazy in thinking that the people who I spend the most time with should know that sometimes I really need someone to make that extra effort every once in awhile? Is it really that hard to make an effort to show that you really are there for me? If I text you something, even if it is something trivial, is it hard to text back like 4 words? And I know that part of my problem is that I don't usually just come right out and tell people what is bothering me. I tried to avoid conflict, so I become super passive-aggressive. I just sit there and stew about things and then I get even more upset. Then I get angry and the people I am upset with don't know why. I am trying to work on that, believe me.

 If you can't tell, I am feeling a little bit...neglected? I guess that is the word. I just feel like I put so much effort into making sure that the people in my life know that I care about them and would do anything for them, and I don't get anything like that in return. Last week was especially bad. Some of the people I would talk to or see Every. Single. Day. were basically non-existent in my life last week. And it was hard. And by the time Friday hit, I was seriously down in the dumps. I love my friends and I understand that I am not the number one priority in their lives. I understand that there is a lot going on in everyone's lives, mine included. I understand all of this. I just wish that...I don't know what I wish. Maybe that people could just read my mind? That might be helpful...as long as they can't hear everything I am thinking. Hahahaha.

 To all of my lovely friends out there reading this...I promise that this is not directed at anyone in specific. It is just kind of a blanket annoyance this past week. I love all of my friends and am grateful for all at they do for me. I guess it was just a bad week? I don't know. Don't be offended. Anyway. I guess that is it. Peace and love.

yayyyyyyy!!!

remember this?  remember how i said that things were going to be better for me?  well guess what?  i went out and got me a job!  that's right.  after looking for 3 and a half months, i finally got something.  i am verrrrrrrrry excited about it.  i am going to be an executive assistant to the president of a company called Genesis PURE.  they make health drinks and supplements and stuff (i think).  it is only part time for the first little while, as a trial period, then it will go full time.  i am excited.  this is going to be a good year for me.  plus...i can't wait to go shoppppppppppping again.  i love shopping!  :)

ok.  that's all.

stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid

guys.  if you can't tell by title of the post, i realllllllly think something (more like someone) is stupid.  and i'm about ready to punch someone in the face because of it.  no lie.  it has taken a lot of self control for me not to drive to price and kick some girl straight in the baby maker.
it's no secret that my sissy pants is one of my favorite people on this earth.  she is kinda hilarious and one of the nicest people i know.  and she is having a bit of a hard time. there is some 2-faced, jealous, not-nice-word-that-starts-with-a-b-that-i-would-say-but-i-don't-want-to-offend-anyone that has been spreading rumors about her to her teammates and friends.  and it honestly has taken every single bit of strength i have not to drive to price and tell her what i really think about her.  and then beat the shiz out of her.
can anyone please tell---WHY are girls so awful?  what is the point of bringing someone else down?  if you have a problem with someone, work it our or ignore them.  but there is no need to spread nasty rumors or talk badly about someone.
i have had my fair share of problems with stupid girls.  elementary school was rough.  i went to an accelerated elementary school, so i spent time with girls who were way too mature for their age, myself included.  that means the attack tactics were way more advanced than any 9 year old should be able to come up with.  one particularly hurtful time came my freshman year of college.  i had a roommate who made my life hell.  it was to the point that i tried to find somewhere else to live and even considered transferring to byu (i know.  shocker.  that's how bad it was for me).  but i pushed my way through, and it made me stronger.
but in all of my life, i never thought that something like this would happen to my sister.  she is a good person who cares about the people in her life.  she listens when someone needs a shoulder to cry on.  she would do anything she can to help anyone.  she draws people to her.  people loooooooooove her.  and now there is this awful, awful, awful, awful girl tearing her down and making her think she is not good enough, making her doubt herself and killing her self esteem.  and i really want to know why this stupid person thinks it is ok to call someone a whore consistently or spread untrue rumors, especially about my sister who has never done anything to her.
i just don't get it.  and i'm not lying when i say i am trying to find ways to get revenge on this stupid girl (bad.  i know.  i can't help it).  but for now, i am just trying to do the best i can to help my sissy realize that she is a good person, and that she can't let this stupid girl bring her down.  it's easy to throw rocks at things that shine.  and to remember:

thank you pinterest :)

goals.

holy moly...is anyone else glad that 2011 is over?  i mean, don't get me wrong, it had it's positive times...i walked in graduation, i made some super awesome new friends (shout out to koby and the boys), i learned some verrrrrrrrry important life lessons.  but other than that really, 2011 wasn't my favorite.  so.  i am bound and determined to make 2012 BETTER.  it has to happen.  it is my turn to have things go right for me.  this time, i'm not asking, i'm telling.  things WILL be better.  they have to be.

so.  here are a few of my 2012 goals.  "new years resolutions" always sounds so cliche to me, but in reality, my goals are things i should be doing anyway.  so i am just trying to better my life.

*first and foremost, FIND A GOOD JOB.  i don't know why it is so freaking difficult.  when i was in high school, my teachers always pushed going to college because it was so much easier to get a job with a degree.  the reality of it is that now every place wants EXPERIENCE.  how the eff am i supposed to get experience without having a job?  it is majorly bumming me out.  but i am trying to stay positive, and at this point, i am ready to take any job that does not involve serving/cooking/smelling like food.  so if any of you out in blog land know of any leads, pleeeeeeeeeease send them my direction. 

*read my scriptures every day.  when i was working, this was so easy because i would read on my lunch break or when i didn't have anything to do.  i felt so much more at peace when i was reading every day.  but since being unemployed, i have been lazy.  i haven't been finding the time to read them.  i get sucked into looking for jobs on my computer or watching tv, and at night i am to tired or lazy to pull them out.  so i am making it a priority in my life again, as it should have been the whole time.

*get healthy, which is actually something i have been working on a lot during the last couple of months.  december, of course, has been the hardest month, because there is sooooooooo much going on and sooooooo many deliciously fattening foods to eat.  luckily for me, sweets aren't nearly as appealing to me as they used to be, so it has been a little easier.  i am still planning on running in a relay race with my friends in may, and that is a HUGE stress.  i still HATE. RUNNING. MORE. THAN. ANYTHING.  but it is something i want to do.  so hopefully i can find the dedication to make it work.

*try to not swear anymore.  there are 3 words that are my absolute favorite--words that i don't really consider swear words.  hahahaha.  but other people do, and i don't want to offend anyone, so i am working on not saying them anymore.  

*get out of debt as much as i can.  i really don't have a lot of debt at all, just my student loans and my car (which is close to being paid off), but i would really love to get walter paid off 100% and pay extra on my student loans every month, so it doesn't take me 8392043021 years to pay them off.

for the most part, i am happy with who i am.  i finished college which is a bigggggggg deal.  i have good friends, both the ones i have known for a long time and the new, great friends i have made lately.  i have an awesome family that i like to spend time with.  and, even though it is the WORST when someone says "you have a great personality, you'll find someone soon", i do have a pretty great personality.  i am funnnnnnnnny. -not to toot my own horn or anything :) - but i do like the person i am.  so.  here's to a rockin' 2012.